OH TO LAUGH AGAINJul 26, 2022
The belly-bubbling laugh that sets you free, where this liberation of your essence just bursts out of you, and finally after a long voyage you can laugh again.
Breathing the pleasure of life again. Coming into the light, being the light, feeling the light, light humour, deeply resonating in the vessel of your being.
The spirit of joy anchoring in the body as you surface for air. Deep breaths transform your emissions into cackles of creating a new reality. Right then and there in this moment of unadulterated laughter, you come alive again.
☆ I WONDERED WHY I HAD NOT BEEN ABLE TO LAUGH PROPERLY FOR YEARS
Let's cut to the chase - It's very hard to be joyful in a deeply emotionally abusive marriage!
I had missed myself not being able to laugh, crack jokes or be in my natural flow of humour, and I was made wrong for ''being a dark cloud''; then I made myself wrong and bought that lie, that it was indeed me (gaslighting).
☆ That's how messed up this kind of abuse affects you. That is a messed-up joke in itself surely?!
I know. It's hard when you are in it. I have been there (I am a survivor of 2 narcissist abusive marriages/divorces, and 20 years of bullying) and wondering when I would ever surface to feel myself, my joy and love for life, my essence again and be able to feel safe enough to come back out into life.
☆ How is it possible that I fell for it twice? You might ask.
Well, I have spent the last 2 years in recovery and in deep studies of emotional abuse researching all the angles and perspectives. Because when this happened a second time, I was determined to stay (not flee back immediately to my own country) and do all the work then and there so it would never happen again, so I could be from attracting this into my life.
☆ And, well I am so proud of myself. I am getting there. How do I know? Because I can laugh and make jokes again.
I'm not back to full capacity, but I'm getting there.
I have a lot of recreating to do due to the effects this abuse has had on my well-being. Body, Brain, Business, Beauty.
I'm getting there
Unrequitedly listening to my soul has been my guide
Now there's no other way
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